算數 - 夫人出差記 2/5

小朋友一: 媽媽什麼時候回來?
阿爸: 星期五.
小朋友一: 今天是星期五嗎?
小朋友甲: 過來. (抱著小朋友一.) 我們來算指頭看媽媽什麼時候回來.

Counting - Talented Boss Away 2/5

J: When is mom coming back?
Dad: Friday.
J: Is today Friday?
B: Come here. (Holding J.) Let's count fingers to see the days that mom will be back.

開會 - 夫人出差記 1/5

小朋友甲: 媽媽在那裡?
小朋友一: 過來. (抱著小朋友甲.) 媽媽去很遠很遠的地方開會.

A Meeting - Talented Boss Away 1/5

J: Where is mom?
B: Come here. (Holding J.) Mommy is going to a meeting far far away.

親一下

(阿爸幫小朋友甲洗澡)

小朋友甲: 我親媽媽一下!
小朋友甲: 我親小朋友一一下!
小朋友甲: 我親安公一下!
小朋友甲: 我親安嬤一下!
小朋友甲: 我親狗狗一下!
小朋友甲: 我親猴猴一下!

阿爸: 親阿爸一下?
小朋友甲: 不要!

Give Me a Kiss

(Dad bathing J)

J: I will give mom a kiss!
J: I will give B a kiss!
J: I will give grandma a kiss!
J: I will give grandpa a kiss!
J: I will give doggie a kiss!
J: I will give monkey a kiss!

Dad: Give me a kiss?
J: No!

Cold Car

(Walking in the neighborhood)

J: Look! That car is cold.
Boss: Why is that?
J: The car is hiding under a blanket.

車子冷

(家附近走走)

小朋友甲: 看! 車子會冷.
夫人: 為什麼呢?
小朋友甲: 它蓋被被.

Scare Away the Beast

(Told B+J the ancient story of solar and lunar eclipse - a beast ate sun and moon to cause eclipse and people used to make a ruckus to scare the beast to spit sun and moon out.)

(B+J making a ruckus before bed time.)

Dad: what are you doing?!
B: We are making a ruckus to scare away the beast from turning this room dark.

天狗

(跟小朋友甲與小朋友一講天狗食日的故事. 以前人認為日蝕月蝕是因為被天狗吃掉了, 所以會用很大的噪音嚇天狗, 讓牠把太陽月亮吐出來.)

(小朋友一與小朋友甲睡前在房間大起噪音.)

阿爸: 幹嘛?!
小朋友一: 我們用很大的噪音嚇天狗, 讓房間等一下不會暗.

美媽與美爸

小朋友甲: 媽, 妳很美.
夫人: 謝謝.

-後來-

阿爸 (小聲): 我也美嗎?
小朋友甲: 沒有.

Hooray for Mom

B: Mom, you are beautiful.
Boss: Thank you.

-later-

Dad (whispering): Am I beautiful?
B: No.

關起來 - 好人篇 4/4

(阿爸在門口有護童柵欄的浴室刷牙)

小朋友甲: 我跟小朋友一是好人!
阿爸: 很好.
小朋友一: 我們要打敗壞人. 你是壞人.
小朋友甲: 我們要把你關起來. ㄎ一ㄤ!! (柵欄鎖住.)

Defeat the Bad Guy - Good Guys 4/4

(Dad brushing teeth in the bathroom with a child safe fence)

B: J and I are good guys!
Dad: Good.
J: We defeat the bad guy. You are the bad guy.
B: We are locking you up. Click!! (Slam the fence.)

Facing bad guys - Good Guys 3/4

J: Can Spiderman defeat the bad guys himself without his friends?
Dad: It is not easy. But, even without help, Spiderman will defeat the bad guys.
J: Yeah!
Dad: Besides, it makes for better box office numbers.

打敗壞人 - 好人篇 3/4

小朋友甲: 如果沒有朋友幫忙, 蜘蛛人可以打敗壞人嗎?
阿爸: 是比較困難. 不過就算沒有朋友幫忙, 蜘蛛人最後還是可以打敗壞人.
小朋友甲: 真厲害.
阿爸: 而且票房會比較好.

Licensing Issues - Good Guys 2/4

J: Are there Spiderman movies?
Dad: Sure, there are several.
J: Is Thomas the Train in these movies?
Dad: No. There are licensing issues.

版權 - 好人篇 2/4

小朋友甲: 有蜘蛛人電影嗎?
阿爸: 有啊, 好幾部.
小朋友甲: 湯瑪士火車在這些電影裡嗎?
阿爸: 沒有. 版權問題.

互相保護 - 好人篇 1/4

小朋友一: 我喜歡蜘蛛人跟湯瑪士火車.
阿爸: 他們都是好人. 你知道他們是朋友嗎?
小朋友一: 真的?
阿爸: 對呀, 就像你跟小朋友甲, 好人會互相保護.

Watching Out for Each Other - Good guys 1/4

B: I like Spiderman and Thomas the Train.
Dad: They are both good guys. Do you know they are friends.
B: Really?
Dad: Yeah, like you and J, good guys watch out for each other.

艾雪邏輯

阿爸: 你比小朋友一大嗎?
小朋友甲: 是.
阿爸: 小朋友一比阿爸大嗎?
小朋友甲: 是.
阿爸: 阿爸比你大嗎?
小朋友甲: 是.

An Escher Moment

Dad: Are you bigger than B?
J: Yeah.
Dad: Is B bigger than dad?
J: Yeah.
Dad: Is dad bigger than you?
J: Yeah.

No spicy please

J: Dad. Let's play "Almond Jelly".

Dad: Almond Jelly!
J: Ahhh..... (shriek and run away)

Dad: Jamón Ibérico de Bellota!
J: Ahhh..... (shriek and run away)

Dad: Spicy hot pot!
J: Dad, no spicy hot pot. I don't like spicy!

--
"Almond Jelly" game = Dad calls out a dish, then kids shriek and run away

『麻辣火鍋』

小朋友一: 阿爸, 要不要玩『杏仁豆腐』?

阿爸: 杏仁豆腐!
小朋友一: 啊..... (尖叫跑掉)

阿爸: Jamón Ibérico de Bellota!
小朋友一: 啊..... (尖叫跑掉)

阿爸: 麻辣火鍋!
小朋友一: 阿爸, 不要麻辣火鍋. 我不喜歡辣!

--
『杏仁豆腐』玩法 = 阿爸叫個菜名 然後小朋友尖叫跑掉

『杏仁豆腐』

小朋友甲: 我是巨人!
阿爸: 杏仁?
小朋友甲: 不是杏仁啦!
阿爸: 是杏仁豆腐? 我要吃杏仁豆腐! 讓我咬一口.
小朋友甲: 不要! 啊..... (尖叫跑掉)

(之後)

小朋友甲: 阿爸, 要不要玩『杏仁豆腐』?