Expert Airplane

B running hard with a newly built lego airplane.
Turning a hard corner.
Airplane falls apart.

B (with nonchalance): My plane is designed to be an expert in falling part.

Star Gazer

Walking under a lusciously leafy canopy after lunch.

B (pointing up): look stars!

Birthday Song

After school, B belching out proudly.

Happy birthday to you.
You are a hundred and two!

Oogli! Oogli!

J: B give me a blanket.
B: What are you doing?
J: I am building an Oogli!
B: Yeah! Let me help you.
J: Look! My Oogli!

* Translation: Oogli = Igloo. This is known as "phonetic reversal" and common to small kids

Hairdo and School

In a super market with staff stocking the shelves.

B: Look!
J: What?
B: See the red mohawk hair on that guy?
J: Yeah?
B: Doesn't he look like the chicken at school?
J: Yeah!

When the shower head is on

In a communal shower area.


Each picking boogers from nose with muted anticipation.

J: (Giddily looking at own booger) Yucky!
B: (Giddily looking at own booger) Yucky!
J: (Giddily looking at B's booger) Yucky!
B: (Giddily looking at J's booger) Yucky!

**

B: You stay here. I am going there to get a towl and be right back.
J: No worries. I can recognize your bottom from far away.

Fashionable Holes

B putting on day clothes.

B: I don't like my pants. They have holes in them.
J: But, these are fashionable. People pays extra for these holes

**

B getting ready for bed.

B: I like my pajamas. They do not have holes in them. Are my pajamas not fashionable?
J: Zzzzzzzz.....

A Stroll

A routine after-meal stroll.

Dad: That is a nice garden over there.
B: Where?
Dad: The other side of the street.
B: Yeah, tall blue flower. What is it called?
Dad: I don't know. We will have to look it up later.

**
B: See the old lady walking by the garden?
Dad: Yeah. She is probably just admiring her neighbor's flowers. Isn't this a nice place to have a stroll?

R-I-P!!!

B (whispers): What is she doing?!
Dad (whisper): Ahem..... I think she just took off with those nice flowers.

In the Study

In the study. J is playing with blocks and dad is rubbing his hands.

J: What are you doing?
Dad: Oh, my skin is dry.
J: Let me see!
Dad: It cracks.
J: Would it make you feel better if I hold your hand?

**
B comes into the study. Pulling B closer, J points at dad.

J: See the cracks.
B (sternly): You have not been using the moisture lotions like I told you, right?!
J: Incorrigible!

**
Dad is reading an article on the desktop monitor. J crawls under the table, pulls dad's right hand, plays with it, and lets go.

An unmistakable plastic tearing sound of adhesive tape from under the desk rings out.

Dad: What are you doing?
J: I will tape up the cracks so you feel better.

Let's Read a Book - On Bizet 2/2

Dad: If you don't like Carmen, what do you like?
J belched out (B+Dad then joined): Twinkle, twinkle, little star...

(Silence)

B: Let's read a book together.
Dad+J: Good idea!

Carmen - on Bizet 1/2

(Victoria de Los Angeles singing Carmen)

J: What is that?
Dad: Opera. Do you like it?
J: No.

Again!

B: A-ha-ha-choo! (Blew a bubble out of the nose)
J: Wow! Again!

The Most Beautiful and The Most Handsome

B: Mom is the most beautiful and the most handsome.
Dad: How about me?
B: Only a little bit.

Plant's Mouth

Boss: You can water that plant now.
J: Why?
Boss: That plant is thirsty.
J: But plants have no mouth!

You are done now

B: Do you want to play?
Dad: I need to finish some paperwork first.
B (in Jedi voice): You are done with paperwork now.

A Secret

J: I want to tell you a secret.
Dad: Please do.
J: "A secret."

Belt Fish

(B banging the floor)

Dad: what are you doing with my belt?
B: It is a belt fish jumping.

Big Pond

(Family looking at the vastness of the Pacific Ocean)

Dad: Do you know what is this?
B: It is humongous!
J: Yeah! It is a big pond!

No Talking

J: I made a gun.
Dad: Good.
(The gun falls apart)
J: No talking! Or, the gun will break.

Mutual Protection

Mom (screams): Aaaaaahhhhh!

(Dad and B rushing out to see what was the matter.)

Mom: I saw a big lizard. But, thanks to J, who rushed over to protect me.
J: I thought you were protecting me?!