小朋友一: 浴缸變小了!
阿爸: 不, 是你長大了.
(之後, 幫小朋友穿睡衣.)
小朋友一: 阿爸, 你變小了!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Growth spurt
B: The bathtub shrunk!
Dad: No, you have grown.
(Later, dad putting pajama on B.)
B: Dad, you shrunk!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Wine storage
(Teaching B how to use the cork screw opener)
B: I've got it!
Boss: Good. Looks like the wine has been in good storage.
B: How do you know?
Boss: The cork is barely wet for this 97 bottle.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tell me already
Dad (pointing at a picture book): What is this?
J: Zebra!
Dad: That is a good guess. What is like a zebra but without the stripes?
J: A deer?
Dad: Very good thinking. What is like a deer but no antler?
J: Tell me already!
Dad: It is a horse.
是什麼
阿爸 (指著圖畫書: 這是什麼?
小朋友一: 斑馬!
阿爸: 猜得不錯. 什麼是像斑馬可是沒有條紋?
小朋友一: 鹿?
阿爸: 也對. 什麼是像鹿可是沒有角?
小朋友一: 是什麼!?
阿爸: 馬.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Watery space
B: How do people travel through space?
Dad: On space ship.
B: Ship? Is there water in space?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Water proof
(B is strumming an inflatable toy guitar.)
Dad: Do you want to play the other guitar?
B: No.
Dad: Your other guitars has real strings!
B: But, this one is water proof.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Whale house
(Watched a news on how fish was washed up to a beachfront house by tsunami)
B: Is tsunami bigger than whales?
Dad: Usually.
B: Would a whale land on our house if a tsunami comes?
Dad: I hope not!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Speaking Japanese
B: What is tsunami?
Dad: It is a Japanese word meaning very big waves.
B: Do we speak Japanese?
Dad: お前はできないよ!!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Flushing twice
(Cleaning up after bowl movement.)
B: Why flush first then flush again after wiping?
Boss: Poop-poop is a very good thing. But, it also stinks.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Comparative and superlative
J: Booger.
Dad: Wow!
J: Bigger booger.
Dad: Goodness!
J: Humongous booger.
Dad: You are right!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Pants are cold
(Back in the colder climate. After bathing.)
B: I am cold.
Boss: Quick put on this pants.
B: But the pants are cold.
Boss: I know, you need to keep the pants warm.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Crooked door
(Jet lagged. B+J would come up with any excuse not to go to bed.)
Dad: Go to bed!
B: Look, the door is crooked.
Boss: Go to bed!
(Later)
Dad: Actually, I think the door is crooked...
Monday, March 14, 2011
Cold water spa
(Dad soaking in cold water after the hot spring.)
Dad: Aaaaaah!
B: What are you doing?
Dad: I am crazy.
B: Aaaaah!
Dad: what are you doing?
B: I am crazy like you.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Mud spa
(At a spa known for its muddy hot spring.)
Boss: Want to come in and soak in the hot spring?
B: No. It looks dirty.
Dad: I know. If you come soak in it, we can take a picture and gross out all of your friends.
B: Coming!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Dirty look
(In a pastry store. The clerk offered a sample to B.)
Dad: say "Thank you, aunty."
(Dirty look from the clerk.)
Dad: Huh, "Thank you, sister?"
Dad (thinking to self): sister, you may not want to skim on the botox budget.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
頭貓
(在城裡, 散步走街路.)
小朋友一: 看那個人的頭髮!
阿爸: 哇, 厲害!
小朋友甲: 好像有隻貓在他頭上睡覺.
(走過街口)
小朋友一: 他的頭貓醒了.
夫人: 其實, 我覺得他的頭貓比較像一隻不爽的狸.
(在任何人能分享下一個高見前, 全家被阿爸拉走.)
Cat on the head
(Walking city streets.)
B: Look at that hairdo!
Dad: Wow, isn't it something!
J: Looks like a cat is sleeping on the head.
(Walking pass a corner)
B: The head-cat is waking up.
Boss: Actually, I think it looks more like a pissed raccoon.
(Dad whisking away the whole family before another comment is uttered.)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Where is mine?
Dad: Check this out, honorarium.
B: What is that?
Dad: People paid to hear me speak.
B: No way!
(Later.)
B: Say, you hear me talk all the time, where is my honorarium?
Monday, March 7, 2011
Olfactory memories
(Arrived in the city to visit grandpa and grandma)
B: Ah, we are getting close to grandma and grandpa's place.
Boss: How do you mean?
B: I can smell it!
(The distinct scent of oily street puddles and taxi exhaust fume...)
Boss: Ah, I see what you mean.
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